by Mila McManus MD
Improve Your Relationship
Ladies, have you been frustrated that your husband doesn’t acknowledge your presence when you walk into the room?
Gents, have you ever felt that you are on a completely different wavelength than your wife?
If you could use some help in the communication and/or relationship department, whether you are male or female, please read on!
A couple of years ago, a patient of mine told me about a book called Have a New Husband by Friday. The title may be a bit off-putting to some of you, but please give it a chance. This book was written for women, by a male therapist. So men, encourage your women to read this book, for YOUR benefit.
This patient of mine told me that it saved her marriage. I was intrigued! Over the next year, I recommended this book to several other women and started getting positive feedback. I decided to then read it myself to see what all the hype was about, and felt it would be prudent to know what I was recommending to people. I must say, I didn’t think
I needed to read the book, but once I did, I was very glad that I did. It helped me understand how men are wired differently and gave me great insight on how to better communicate with my husband, regardless of the situation. Dr. Kevin Leman, the author, explains to women that they can’t change their men, but they can change themselves in how they communicate with their men which, in turn, can effect changein their men.
Let me give you an example. Dr. Leman explains how the male and female brains are wired differently and that men can’t multitask like women can. Imagine holding an infant with your left arm on your hip, talking on the phone, holding it between your ear and shoulder, stirring the pot on the stove with your other arm, and watching the news, all at
the same time. Men, I dare you all to try. Simple experiment, that’s all I ask. This author says you can’t do it. So, ladies, when you walk into a room as you are asking your husband a question and he’s on his laptop or watching TV and doesn’t acknowledge your existence or answer your question, don’t assume he’s simply ignoring you. He might not register that you walked into the room or even were speaking to him. So next time, try walking into the room, engaging him first with “Honey?”, wait for him to look at you (if it doesn’t work right away, repeat), and then ask your question. The book has many other examples and suggestions.
By the way, the author also has a book called Have a New Kid by Friday (haven’t read it yet, so unable to comment on it at this time).